I work with people who are ready
to look honestly at themselves to create real change.
To change your life,
you have to be willing to change your mind.
Approach
My approach is rooted in honest, present-centered communication and self-awareness, and informed by Relational Gestalt, Hakomi, Psychodrama, interpersonal dynamics, and importantly, psychedelics.
It is essential to provide a safe environment where trust can develop, giving people the courage to be vulnerable and share very intimate parts of their lives without fear of being rejected. I think we have all had the experience of speaking an undisclosed truth, of divulging something that was buried inside—like taking off a mask and revealing ourselves. Sometimes we feel lighter afterward, or gain clarity about our reality.
Intimate conversation is one of the most important practices for developing self-awareness, because saying something out loud helps make it real. What was vague, hidden, or buried becomes something you can actually see. That can reveal patterns in your behavior, your relationships, and the way you respond to life. With that awareness, you can ask yourself: Is this how I want to keep living, or is there something I want to change?
—Adapted from remarks by Mary Cosimano, LMSW
Focus
Relational
Many of the patterns that shape how we relate to other people were learned early and repeated over time. This work looks at those patterns, how they show up now, and whether they still make sense in your life.
Addiction & Compulsive Patterns
Alcohol, drugs, and compulsive behaviors often serve a purpose, even when they create problems. We look at what the behavior provides, what may be underneath it, and what keeps the pattern going.
Men’s Work
Men often have less practice talking openly about fear, shame, vulnerability, loneliness, or uncertainty. This work creates room to explore those experiences directly, along with relationships, frustration, sex, and the pressure to appear capable or unaffected.
Psychedelic Integration
Psychedelic experiences can bring up powerful emotions, memories, insights, and experiences that are difficult to understand. Some of these may have been suppressed for decades. Integration means taking time to look at what happened, what it means to you, and how it relates to the rest of your life.
Let’s Work Together
If you are stuck in a pattern.
If you are navigating a challenging life transition.
If you feel disconnected, or like you’re just going through the motions.
If you are integrating a powerful or challenging experience.
If you want deeper connection with others, or with yourself.
If you are struggling with a substance or compulsive behavior
Training and Influences
Being True to You: Certified Transformational & Psychedelic Integration Coach
Hakomi
Psychodrama
Relational Gestalt
Stanford GSB Interpersonal Dynamics / T-Group
Men of Integrity retreat facilitation
Zendo Project (MAPS): Sitting and Integration Training
Susan Campbell, PhD: Interpersonal dynamics and communication
Aubrey Degnan, PhD: Spiritual mentoring and personal development
Richard Lipfield, LMFT: Addiction and experiential therapy
Format
We can begin with a free 30 minute conversation to see whether the work feels useful. If we continue, I generally recommend at least three sessions so there is time for trust to develop.
Sessions are one hour, online, or as two-hour walking sessions in the Sausalito Headlands available after 3 sessions.
About Me
My interest in this work comes from a lifelong curiosity about how people experience the world so differently.
I was born in Germany to a German mother and an Italian father, I moved to California when I was five and spent my summers in Europe.
Moving between cultures exposed me early to how differently people interpret the world and experience the human condition.
Fees
$100 per session (reduced rates are available for those in need. Please ask me on our first call)
Six-session package: $550
Contact
Christopher Tomasi
chris@tomasi.me
(415) 580-1104
“Ritual creates intention, and intention creates inner balance”—Christopher Tomasi
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” —Anaïs Nin
“The first part is just acknowledging what is.” —Ram Dass
“Courage is fear holding on a minute longer.” —General George S. Patton
“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.” —Cicero
“Human connections shape neural connections.” —Dan Siegel
“What you routinely think, feel, and do gradually sculpts your brain.” —Rick Hanson
“You can’t be intimate without being vulnerable.”—Susan Campbell
“Confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”—Admiral James Stockdale
“The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.” —Jiddu Krishnamurti
“Trust in God, but tie your camel” —Islamic proverb
“Being humble doesn’t mean being nobody: it just means being no more of a somebody than you ought to be.”—Alan Morinis
“The mind is restless and difficult to restrain, but it is subdued by practice.” Bhagavad Gita 6:35
“Family pathology rolls from generation to generation like a fire in the woods taking down everything in its path until one person, in one generation, has the courage to turn and face the flames. That person brings peace to his ancestors and spares the children that follow.”
—Terry Real
“When a cat falls out of a tree, it lets go of itself. The cat becomes completely relaxed, and lands lightly on the ground. But if a cat were about to fall out of a tree and suddenly make up its mind that it didn’t want to fall, it would become tense and rigid, and would be just a bag of broken bones upon landing. [I]t is the philosophy of the Tao that…the moment we were born we were kicked off a precipice and we are falling, and there is nothing that can stop it. So instead of living in a state of chronic tension, and clinging to all sorts of things that are actually falling with us because the whole world is impermanent, be like a cat. —Alan Watts
